Eleanora has moved into the heavyweight category (see her double chin)! Watch out Evander! Eleanora is moving up in the world. She's just over 5 lbs 6 oz now, which means she (legally) fits into a car seat, she's no longer in the low birth weight category, and would be equivalent to $8.73 if she were a British pound.Although most babies weigh more than Eleanora at birth, this is very exciting for us. She's gained nearly 2 lbs since we left the hospital. This also means she's continuing to thrive.
However. Her color is fading, she's having more trouble breathing, and she's not tolerating her milk as well. This is extremely difficult to watch. Watching any child, let alone your own, die is heart wrenching. There is a profound sadness that accompanies you--as you walk the dog, prepare dinner, go grocery shopping, read stories to your children--it's everywhere. But as a parent you come to a crossroads--what is best for your child? To prolong life or offer the best quality of life? This is a soul searching question (the answer maybe different for every family). In many respects we want Eleanora to continue to be with us (which may seem selfish), but our most important wish is for her to be comfortable. So, this means we watch and wait.
We still have hope. She has weathered downturns in the past and surprised us all. I don't know how long we can prevent 'the inevitable.' I guess that my sincerest wish is that she doesn't suffer though. I hope she just falls asleep in my arms.
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