While the rest of the country slept through the night, I sat awake staring at our daughter who glowed like the sun. Conflicted with wanting to hold her and her need to be exposed to light therapy, I just sat and watched her. This was perhaps one of the hardest maternal instincts to overcome.By this point we had not received any definitive diagnosis, but I was searching her physical features over and over again to offer some prelude of the news to come. I still had hope, although deep down I knew; I knew she most likely had a fatal genetic condition. During the pregnancy I spent days reading and educating myself in obstetrics and reviewing the latest medical literature. I knew what I was looking for, but alas I still had hope.
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